I’m a whiny boring person who works in really really busy retail all day, so when I go home I’m gonna put my jimjams on, make breakfast for dinner, pour a glass of Japanese plum wine and fall asleep catching up on Doctor Who, and ain’t nothin’ anyone can do about it because I’m your stressed out mom who came home to a messy house and no homework done so you kids better get to your room and I don’t wanna hear one single PEEP outta any of you or no one is going ANYWHERE with their friends this weekend. Do you understand me?

Now, go get your mother her bottle opener.

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Same.

I’m not crying; you’re crying. Katy Perry, “Firework.” ASL cover. So, so good, and nice, and sweet, and sincere, and other nice words.

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Quarter-ish life crisis: back and more teen than ever. #savemefrommyself

(Source: marvelized, via aqueousserenade)

Welp, I just finished the Office series finale. I could go to bed or live forever in this puddle of my tears or have a pack of wild dogs tear me limb from limb whatever it’s not like this show matters to me sowhatwhocares?

Cats are the best because they’re a perfect mix of aloof asshole and total doofus.

(Source: hiddleheheheheston, via tryingtodeduceyou)

The reason I know I should still be in college is that I can’t decide between cereal and leftover Chinese for dinner at one a.m.

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kacsa:

sure, go ahead and break my heart, why don’t you =(

Awww, maaaan. Apparently, dude traveled through Haddonfield as he made his escape. All the fun stuff happens after I move.

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Not sure if this is Dollar Tree’s attempt to be progressive or if their employees really can’t follow a planogram. #probablythesecondone #onlydadsgofishing #duh (at Dollar tree)

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doctorwhowhathow:

Matt Smith helping Billie Piper park her car.

(Source: savingdoctorwho, via ascotsareapropos)

dom-the-destitute:

ladysmith:

dom-the-destitute:

ladysmith:

itsvondell:

early 2000s pop punk revival movement please and thank you

Motion to approve. 

Motion to vomit.

Motion to go fuck yourself.

Motion approved :’(

Ha! Well done. clapclap.